Horrible Harry and the Ant Invasion Read online

  And then they joined their lines.

  “You didn’t stop and twirl her under your arm,” Miss Mackle complained.

  Harry was next.

  He walked over and took Song Lee’s hands and then they sashayed down the center. He stopped, put up his arm, and Song Lee twirled around and then curtsied.

  Harry bowed so low his curly hair touched his knees.

  “Bravo!” Miss Mackle said.

  Harry flashed his white teeth.

  Song Lee looked down at her black shoes.

  When I came down with Miss X, everyone laughed.

  The next time we went through the line we had new partners. I had Ida. Sidney had Song Lee.

  When Sidney went over to take Song Lee’s hands, he had his eyes closed again. He didn’t want to dance with a girl.

  Instead of looking where he was going, he walked right into her, and they bumped heads.

  Song Lee put her hand on her forehead. There was a big bump and a red mark on her forehead. She was trying not to cry but everyone could see the tears on her cheek.

  Harry raised a fist at Sidney.

  Miss Mackle sent Song Lee to the nurse. Then she said, “We will have one more dance. Sidney, you must be more careful.”

  “He should keep his eyes open,” I said.

  Miss Mackle walked over to Sidney. “Were you dancing with your eyes closed?”

  Sidney shook his head. “Nope. They were wide open all the time, like this.”

  The class stared at Sidney’s eyes. They looked like giant white gumballs. Then he made them revolve around and around.

  Miss Mackle turned to put the needle on the record.

  Harry raised two fists. I knew what he was thinking. Double revenge.

  When we returned to the classroom, Song Lee was sitting in her chair with an ice bottle held against her forehead.

  Just before the three-o‘clock bell rang, Harry offered to take the bottle back to the nurse for her.

  Song Lee thanked him and then went out of the classroom to get her coat.

  As the rest of the class lined up to go home, Harry said, “Hey, Sidney. Meet me at the comer. I have a little present for you.”

  “You do?” Sidney said.

  Harry flashed his white teeth. “I do.”

  Sidney waited for Harry at the corner. “What are you giving me a present for?” he asked when he saw Harry.

  “For that trick you did in dancing today.”

  “Trick?” Sidney couldn’t remember.

  “You bumped into Song Lee because your eyes were shut.”

  “Yeah! She even had to go to the nurse with the alligator purse!” Sidney said, bursting into laughter. “So where’s my present?”

  “Right here,” Harry said, flipping the ice bottle and pouring it down Sidney’s back.

  “Yeoooooow! That’s COLD!” Sidney screamed as he ran up the street waving his hands in the air. “I’ll get even with you for this. Just wait!”

  I looked at Harry. “Where did you get that bottle of ice water?”

  “From Song Lee. I told her I would return the bottle to the nurse.”

  And then Harry flashed his white teeth. “I didn’t say I would return the melted ice inside.”

  I cracked up.

  “Ol’ Sidney had it coming,” Harry mumbled.

  I waited at the school steps while Harry returned the empty bottle to the nurse.

  Sometimes when Harry tells you he’s going to do something, he leaves the horrible part out.

  Horrible Harry and the Deadly Fish Tank

  We have a fish tank in Room 2B. Last time Harry and I counted there were twenty-five fish swimming around in it.

  Twenty guppies.

  Four neon fish.

  And one black molly.

  Then there was horrible Monday. This is how it happened.

  Sidney came to school mad. He was mad about Harry putting ice water down his back on Friday.

  Even his hair looked angry. It stood on end. Sidney probably didn’t bother combing it.

  Miss Mackle looked at the Monitor Chart. “Boys and girls, I will announce the week’s new monitors. Sidney is Messenger, Doug is Paper Monitor, Ida is Ant Monitor, Mary is Plant Monitor, Song Lee is Sweeper, and ...” When she finally got to Harry, she said, “Harry is Fish Monitor.”

  Harry immediately got up and went back to feed the fish. He turned on the light in the tank and took roll. Carefully he recorded the number in the Fish Roll Book.

  Then he checked the temperature. It was in the green part of the thermometer—in the 70-80 degree range.

  At lunchtime, Harry fed the fish and then lined up behind me in the cafeteria. “I have my favorite dessert, Doug, he said. ”Two pieces of Mom’s homemade fudge. I’m saving it for us on the way home from school.”

  I drooled. I know how good Harry’s mother’s fudge was. Chocolatey, nutty, and mmmmmmmm good.

  After lunch when we were working on math, Harry walked back to check the tank. The he shouted, “The black molly is floating on the water. She’s DEAD!”

  Everyone rushed back to the tank.

  Miss Mackle opened the cover of the tank and took out the net. She scooped up the dead fish. Then she put her finger in the water. “Why, the water is hot! Someone has been fooling with the temperature knob.”

  Everyone looked at the thermometer. The mercury was way above the green zone. “Who would do such a horrible thing?” Miss Mackle exclaimed.

  Everyone looked at Harry.

  I did too. Harry loves to do horrible things.

  Miss Mackle waited for someone to speak.

  Sidney spoke first. “Harry is the fish monitor. He did it!”

  “Do you know anything about this?” Miss Mackle asked Harry.

  Harry shook his head.

  Miss Mackle said we wouldn’t be doing “little theater” that afternoon. She didn’t feel like doing anything fun. She was too disappointed.

  We just worked at our seats the rest of the afternoon.

  It was a long day.

  When Harry lined up at three o‘clock, no one wanted to stand next to him.

  Except me.

  “Do you think I did it?” Harry asked as we walked home.

  I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure.

  “Doug,” Harry said. “I wouldn’t do anything that horrible. I plan on being a great scientist someday. With you, remember? I would never take the life of a single living thing. Not a beetle, or an ant, or a single blade of grass.”

  I knew Harry never mowed the lawn. He told his mother he couldn’t kill the grass.

  We walked home without talking. We didn’t even eat Harry’s homemade fudge. We just didn’t feel like it. The next morning, Harry made a poster and put it up by the fish tank. It was a picture of a tombstone and a graveyard. It said GOD BLESS R BLAK MOLLY.

  Then in the top part was a bunch of fish with yellow wings and halos flying around.

  “What’s that up there?” I asked.

  “Fish heaven,” Harry replied.

  Miss Mackle started the morning as usual with a conversation.

  “Boys and girls, we need to talk about our fish. We are responsible for them. Somehow, we made an error.”

  Sidney raised his hand. “Harry is the fish monitor. He likes to do horrible things. Harry did it. He should stay after school.” Then he sat back in his chair and smiled.

  I looked at Sidney. Then it dawned on me. Revenge. That’s what Sidney wanted! He wanted to get even because Harry had put ice water down his back.

  Harry raised his fist at Sidney. “I wouldn’t cook a fish like that.”

  “Prove it!” Sidney replied.

  “Harry,” Miss Mackle said, “do you know anything about how the black molly died?”

  Harry shook his head.

  Everyone made a face. No one believed Harry but me.

  “Did anyone see someone at the fish tank just before the lunch bell? I asked.

  Song Lee had her hand in the
air for the first time.

  “Yes, Song Lee,” Miss Mackle said. “Did you see someone?”

  Softly, Song Lee spoke, “I see Sidney by the tank just before bell ring. He reach behind where knob is.”

  Sidney sank down in his chair.

  Miss Mackle glared at him.

  Sidney looked at the teacher, then the class. His face turned red. “I didn’t mean to kill the fish. I just ... just ...”

  “Just what?” Miss Mackle asked.

  “... wanted to get”—Sidney’s voice got softer and softer—“Harry in trouble.”

  “We’ll talk about it after school,” Miss Mackle said firmly.

  Harry looked over at Song Lee.

  And beamed.

  Harry really isn’t that horrible. On a scale of 1-10, he probably is a 7 for horribleness.

  Then I noticed Harry get up and get his lunch box. He took something out of it and gave it to Song Lee.

  It was the two pieces of homemade fudge!

  Forget that 7. Anyone who gives my fudge away to a girl is a 10!

  Horrible Harry and the Class Picture

  Tuesday everyone came to school looking very neat. It was picture day for Room 2B.

  “How nice everyone looks!” Miss Mackle exclaimed.

  We looked at the teacher’s hairdo. It was really curly. And it looked red.

  “Did you dye your hair?” Mary asked the teacher.

  Miss Mackle’s face turned red. “No, I just”—her voice got softer—“just used a red rinse.”

  “You look pretty,” Harry said. And then he flashed his white teeth.

  “Thank you, Harry, you look quite nice in your suit and tie.”

  “My mother made me wear it. She’s ordering pictures for all my relatives for Christmas.”

  “Will we get free combs this year?” Sidney blurted out.

  “Let’s hope so,” Mary said. “You need one.”

  Everyone looked at Sidney. His hair stuck out all over his head.

  Miss Mackle took out her red attendance book. “Let’s see, everyone is here today except ... Song Lee?”

  We looked around. She wasn’t at her desk or next to the fish tank or sharpening a pencil.

  Harry frowned. “Do you think she’s sick?”

  “I hope not,” Miss Mackle said. “It would be so nice to have everyone present for the picture.”

  Just then, Song Lee appeared at the door.

  Harry’s eyebrows shot up.

  Miss Mackle went to meet her. “Why, Song Lee, you look beautiful.”

  Song Lee looked down at the floor. Her hair was in a bun. Two white flowers were pinned on either side of her hair.

  She was wearing a long dress and a flowered sash. When Song Lee looked up she said, “Mother want to send picture to Korea for my relatives.”

  Miss Mackle smiled. “They will be very pleased.”

  Just then Mrs. Foxworth appeared at the door. “The photographer is ready for Room 2B in the gym now.”

  As we walked down the hall, I said to Harry, “We probably won’t get to stand next to each other. I’m four inches taller than you.”

  “I know,” Harry replied. “I’ll probably be next to the king of hairdos.”

  I knew who Harry meant.

  Sidney.

  “Maybe you’ll get lucky,” I said.

  “What do you mean?” Harry asked.

  “You might be next to Song Lee.”

  Harry looked at me and grinned.

  “You might be next to the teacher,” Harry said.

  I frowned.

  When we got in the gym, a mother passed out orange combs. Another mother went up to each student and helped to comb their hair. When she got to Sidney, she couldn’t get his snarls out.

  Then the comb broke.

  “Okay, kiddies!” the photographer said. “Line up over here.”

  When he saw Harry in his suit and Song Lee in her outfit, he said, “Ooh la la! Look who’s getting married today!”

  Everyone laughed and giggled.

  Harry held up a fist. “I’m going to be a great scientist when I grow up. I’m not getting married.”

  Song Lee kept looking at her sash.

  “Well, you two make a great couple. You can hold the sign that says, MISS MACKLE’S SECOND GRADE CLASS.”

  Sidney cackled so loud, he was hurting my eardrums.

  “And you two gorgeous redheads can stand together!” the photographer said.

  Then he moved Sidney and the teacher together.

  Everyone laughed again. Except Sidney.

  “Hey, good-looking,” the photographer said to me, “you get to stand between two lovely ladies.”

  I made a face and stood between Ida and Mary.

  “Okay, kiddies,” the photographer said. “Say hamburger with pickles and cheese!”

  The photographer flashed his camera.

  “Now say liver and onions!”

  The photographer flashed his camera again.

  I was hoping the pictures would be over really soon. I was surrounded by girls.

  “Say spaghetti and meatballs!”

  The photographer flashed his camera one last time.

  “I hope I didn’t close my eyes,” Miss Mackle said.

  Harry put the sign down on the floor. Then he lined up by the ramp.

  I could tell Harry was miffed about something. He took off his tie and stuffed it in his pocket.

  When I stood next to him, he whispered. “I don’t like that guy.”

  “You mean the photographer?”

  Harry nodded.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I think he should open a restaurant and sell liver and onions, spaghetti and meatballs, and hamburgers with pickles.”

  Harry looked at me and then at the photographer. “That guy was acting so dumb I wouldn’t buy a picture or a pickle from him.”

  Harry always tells the horrible truth.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Suzy Kline graduated from the University of California at Berkeley and received her elementary school teacher’s credential from California State University at Hayward. She has been teaching for sixteen years and is the author of the popular Herbie Jones series (available in Puffin). Kline was selected Teacher of the Year in 1986 by the Torrington School District in Connecticut and in 1988 by the Probus Club of Torrington.